BPD BADDIE

Hey baddies! Long time no seeeee. Today I feel like ranting. I already know that this post is about to be hectic, so prepare. Lately, I've been incredibly happy. I'm slightly worried this might be a temporary state of euphoria, but I don't think it is. It's like a soft happiness. A happy state where I can just dwell in peace, harmony, and joy. Isn't that so wonderful? N ow onto a less wonderful topic: me being SAd. It drives me crazy that I was so young, and I was able to survive it and the trauma. I don't know why I decided to rant about that right now, but I just felt like it, and you know what? This is my blog; I can do whatever the hell I want with it. So let's talk about me being sexually abused/assaulted. I feel like I ignore this part of me sometimes and treat it as though it never really happened. I'll be frank, sometimes it feels like it didn't and like I'm making it all up. But then I get the flashbacks. They're so vivid, so real, s...

I'm  finally back. I don't know how long I'll be back until I fall into another depressive slump/state/episode. But I'm here at the moment, and that's what matters. I'm still stuck in another country. Very fun, I know. I miss my life. But I know being here is for the best. I really needed the therapy, medications, and treatment I'm getting. I don't think I would've still been here if this didn't happen. It still drives me insane that I can't see the love of my life. It's been months. It physically hurts me. But I'm stuck. I have no choice. But whatever. I shouldn't worry because it's not like I can do anything about it. I was experiencing euphoria earlier today, but it's starting to dull down. Maybe I can salvage it. At the very least, I got the energy to finally post something on the blog. Maybe life isn't so awful.  Edit: This was written on the 11th. I am much better now, though most of this still applies. Anyway, s...

  Hey baddies! Today I'm going to talk about euphoria. There's not much else to say so let's get into it.  What is euphoria? Euphoria is a state of transient intense joy. It is often compared to or mistaken for mania (they are in fact quite similar). During euphoria, or a euphoric episode, one may experience many positive emotions and feelings to an extremely intense level. You may feel connected to the world. You will most likely have a feeling of well-being and that everything will be perfect or that everything is perfect. You'll feel like you're on top of the world; nothing can bring you down. However, this state of epicness does not last too long. It'll last from a few hours to a few days. This is what differentiates it from mania. Mania lasts months, while euphoria goes as quickly as it came.  What causes or triggers euphoria? Euphoria can be caused by many things, such as positive events or relationships, but it can also happen suddenly, without cause.  Is...

  It's 11/11. I love angel numbers. I love the color deep red, the one that looks like a pool of blood staining your fanciest white shirt. I love short nails with fun designs in jewel tones. I love maximalism. I love bags with lots of keychains. I love glitter. I love snickerdoodle cookies. I love stuffed animals and teddy bears. I love fur. I love animal print. I love tiny things. I love the color pink. every shade of it. I love so many things. I have so much love. Why can't I take a little bit of that love and give it to myself? Why is it so hard to accept and tolerate myself? I can't be that awful. There are people who accept me. Who tolerate me and my presence. Even if they're pretending, at least they're there. So why can't I do the same? Why can't I even pretend? 

  Life has been so rough lately. I know I'm strong, but sometime that strength will weaken. At some point, I'm going to come crashing down. It feels like that day could be tomorrow or today even. So many things happen and it feels like at any moment it could be too much for me. It almost was. It almost was too much. I wish I hadn't gone to the balcony. I wish I just stayed in bed and fell asleep. That stupid attempt caused more problems than I thought it would solve. It hurt me, and it hurt those around me. I'm tired of these things. I don't wanna be like this. As much as I find comfort in these awful states, I also wish I could be ok. Just normal. I know I'll never actually be normal- stupid BPD is always going to be with me- but I want the closest thing to that. I have plenty of people trying to help me, but none of it is going to work if my brain doesn't want to cooperate. I'm incredibly tired. I don't even know if I'll post this. I need to po...

  Hey there, baddies! It's been a minute since I've posted anything so we're going to take it easy. My mental health hasn't been the best lately and I've been incredibly unmotivated. However, I am forcing myself to take all the (very little) energy I have to write something new. Today, I'm going to be talking about childhood trauma and it's role in the development of BPD in a person.  BPD is initially a gene in a person. This gene is "activated" by traumatic events. Most of these traumatic events happen during childhood and adolescence. Many borderlines experience traumatic events like sexual and physical abuse, extreme neglect, or seperation from parents or loved ones. Trauma triggers the BPD gene, which causes you to start developing the symptoms of BPD. We already went over the symptoms of BPD, but in case you forgot, some major symptoms are: - unstable relationships - impulsivity - self-harm - unsafe or risky behavior - mood swings - emotional ...

  Hellooo, baddies! This article is going to be about some of the different treatments and therapies used to treat patients with BPD. There are multiple different treatments that can be used to help patients with BPD. These treatments may not work for everyone, though they do help a majority of people.  There are many different treatments for people with BPD, including medication. To start off, there is no medication specifically for BPD, so your doctor may prescribe a combinaton of medications that will work together to help you manage your BPD symptoms. These medications may be antidepressants, mood stabilizers, or antipsychotics.  Many of the therapies used to manage BPD fall under the umbrella of psychotherapy. Psychotherapy, which is also referred to as talk therapy, is used to help individuals manage and change maladaptive behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. The types of psychotherapy that are used to treat BPD are: - Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) - Mentalizatio...