Childhood Trauma & BPD

 Hey there, baddies! It's been a minute since I've posted anything so we're going to take it easy. My mental health hasn't been the best lately and I've been incredibly unmotivated. However, I am forcing myself to take all the (very little) energy I have to write something new. Today, I'm going to be talking about childhood trauma and it's role in the development of BPD in a person. 

BPD is initially a gene in a person. This gene is "activated" by traumatic events. Most of these traumatic events happen during childhood and adolescence. Many borderlines experience traumatic events like sexual and physical abuse, extreme neglect, or seperation from parents or loved ones. Trauma triggers the BPD gene, which causes you to start developing the symptoms of BPD. We already went over the symptoms of BPD, but in case you forgot, some major symptoms are:

- unstable relationships

- impulsivity

- self-harm

- unsafe or risky behavior

- mood swings

- emotional instability 

- fear of abandonment 

- disturbed thinking 

- and many more

These symptoms begin to develop as one grows up, and traumatic events keep happening. This can also lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as self injury, drug and alcohol misuse, unsafe sex, and other dangerous behaviors. All in all, with no need to say this, traumatic events lead to negative behaviors. "But what do I do if I have trauma and can't function normally because of it and my BPD?" Excellent question. Having trauma of any kind is very normal and common. Everyone goes through at least one traumatic event in their life, some more extreme than others. What you have to remember is that your trauma doesn't define you. You did not and do not deserve what happened to you. You were a victim, but you can learn to live life fruitfully after being traumatized. 

"But how do I deal with my trauma?" Another great question. The most important thing to help you heal from your trauma is to exit the environment that caused this trauma. If you are unable to exit, learn the following coping mechanisms. 

- Remember that this trauma did not happen because you deserve it; it happened because someone else took their own trauma and feelings out on you. 

- Try to remind yourself that you will get out of and heal from this situation, no matter how hard and complicated it may be. 

- There are many tricks to help you manage the anxiety and stress you get from trauma, especially when you are still going through that trauma. Some of these methods include:

    - mindful breathing 

    - journaling

    - art therapy 

    - distracting yourself by engaging in a new hobby

- Journaling is especially important because it helps you release the burden of the trauma onto something else, instead of bottling it all up. If writing isn't for you, consider drawing/painting/sculpting/playing an instrument/dance/or any kind of art. Art therapy helps those who need to let their emotions out and express themselves, without having to put it in words. Writing poetry is an excellent way to let things out, and who knows, maybe you'll end up famous for your work.

- Mindful breathing and meditation are very very important because 1) mindful breathing can be done anywhere at any time and 2) meditation helps you relax and release negativity and stress. Mindful breathing is when you are aware of the way you are breathing and focusing on breathing a certain way. It may seem like nonsense at first; "I breathe all the time, what difference does it make?" It makes a huge difference, actually. When you breathe mindfully, you try to take a deep breath in through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and let the breath out through your mouth. Make sure you hold the air in your stomach and not in your chest (a little trick my therapists taught me). Do this repeatedly until you feel calmer. This can help ease your mind and relax you during a difficult situation. Meditation is breathing just like that, but also in silence. Do not focus on anything around you except your breathing and clearing your mind. Do some stretches, pet your furry friend, or simply just sit there (you may choose to close your eyes if you want). Meditating and breathing mindfully will help you clear your mind and relax a little.

- Distracting yourself is probably the funnest way to deal with stress and traumatic events. Fun and trauma are two words you wouldn't hear in the same sentence, but let me explain why: distracting yourself is a very broad area. You may distract yourself in many ways. Perhaps you'll watch a show, or paint something, or play with your pet. As long as you're not stressing about your trauma, it's working. But there's ways to distract yourself without anything to use. My best friend taught me this method and it's worked really well with me. The first method goes like this:

    5 things you can see

    4 things you can feel

    3 things you can hear

    2 things you can smell

    1 thing you can taste

This helps you connect with your senses, and get you out of a negative state. The second way is somewhat similar: 

    Count everything red around you

    Count everything orange around you

    Count everything yellow around you

    Count everything green around you

    Count everything blue around you

    Count everything purple around you

    Count everything pink around you

    Count anything silver/gold around you

When you do this exercise, it shifts your focus from the negative thoughts to something completely different. 

Baddies, I hope you liked this post. It took a lot, and I mean a LOT, of energy out of me. If you have had a traumatic event(s) or are going through something traumatic at the moment, I hope this article helps you to cope as well as make you feel seen. Love you all; bye baddies!