100 Days! (TW)

 Hey, baddies! Today, I completed 100 days without any form of self-harm. I am very proud of myself, I must say. A long time ago, I used to think I wasn't made for living. Someone like me could never handle life. I could never keep on living, and if I did, it would be a dreary, depressing life. I was cutting myself on the daily, hoping I would feel something, anything. Cutting was my safe space. The blade never judged me. I could enjoy the feeling of slicing my skin and how the blood formed droplets along the cut. Of course, I was in a terrible mental state. I wouldn't enjoy hurting myself now, or at least I would hope that'd be the case. Now, I feel safe in other things that don't harm me, like my hobbies or the people I love. I no longer have the desire to injure myself or scar my skin. Sometimes, I get the urge to do so, but I am able to overcome it. Now, I can live a somewhat normal life. Sure, I still have BPD. Sure, I see my therapists more than my own family. And sure, I take a shitload of medications. But the life I have now is better and more normal than anything I have experienced or had before. So you know what? I am grateful and proud of myself. Reaching this stage in life and reaching 100 days was a journey and a struggle. A struggle I was able to push through. I believe I have changed for the better and I am happy. 

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